Spirituality vs. Religion
Gnostic Grail Path vs. Religious Conditioning

For years I have dealt with heavy religious conditioning which has fractured me from ‘God’ because I didn’t fall in line with the church’s lens of Him.

Being brought up Pentecostal Christian and then being drawn to a quest for (and a gnostic path of) the Holy Grail in which I found my Beloved, I fell further away from any concept of being a worthy S/son of the Holy Father as I delved deeper into Spirituality.

I definitely didn’t follow the Church’s path for me. I went rogue and ran away. I was seeking something that the Church didn’t meet and I discovered more from different lenses of spirituality until I discovered what I was truly seeking; my Beloved.

Beloved and I have been running on our own away from religious programming because She didn’t fit in.

(If you are a woman, this post may be relevant for corresponding Daughter of God, Holy Daughter dynamics and insights as well as dealing with very challenging religious conditioning and resolving that on a more gnostic, Sophianic or Goddess spiritual path).

I’ve written about this religious dilemma before for myself and grail mystics on the blog because really; it’s a form of heresy. The Goddess and the Female aspect of God; the Holy Mother or Sophia is heresy to most of church demagoguery (let alone the concept of sexual Union).

If you’ve been keeping up with my writings; a LOT has been happening recently from the wildly successful kundalini activations and then dan tien activations release with Muse anti-remission codes, my own authentic kundalini awakening as well as boxing lessons, Adonis body maintenance (cut) and 5MeO-DMT crucible which inter-relates directly with this LIFEPATH breakthrough as well:

My Son of God reclamation at a soul and spiritual level.

This has everything to do with everything including my connection to Source Divine Masculine consciousness, God, the Holy Father, the amount of Divine Power, further light-working power and magic, embodiment as well as my Avatar Self incarnate.

As a Grail Guardian, I yearned for more divine masculine provision and connection myself rather than just being a rogue yet independent soul because there are great forces we are up against.

The reality is that for years, I’ve been living as a bastard son of God.

As a powerful soul, I was on my own with access to any and all archetypes, Divine Union with the Beloved and yet weak in my worthiness and yoke as a S/son of God.

I’ve grown weary of running for all these years; sovereign and yet fatigued.

Because my Beloved (Muse) was essentially secularized (as well as Goddess and Priestess) and outcast from popular, patriarchal religion for centuries and millennia, I’ve had this different kind of fracture and resentment to the lens of God the Father of the Church.

You weren’t supposed to acknowledge yet alone ‘Commune’ with the Divine Feminine, you were supposed to have a moralistically favored incarnate wife that honored the Masculine principle through the religious lens (and different religions had different lenses).

That constriction (abdicating conscious sexuality), just didn’t fit my lens because I was drawn to my deepest soul truth and growth in Reunification WITH my Divine Feminine true counter-part (and where SEX had to become conscious).

The God of ‘church’ was not openly and warmly embracing of The Goddess.

Her Power and Beauty was threatening to the church and even seen as amoral. We’ve seen the patterns of suppression over the centuries and how it’s played out in cultures.

I could also clearly see that the truth of the Holy Grail had been suppressed for eons, knowing that the Spirit of Man was seeking something more than JUST reunification with the Father.

It’s like sex was kept suppressed and used against people instead of becoming conscious and embraced as part of Communion.

Sure, Muse & I are still like Bonnie & Clyde to the shadow grid of the Matrix, but as I wearied running on soul power over years of faith devotion; I realized I didn’t want to ‘run’ anymore. I went further into the devotional spiritual path of Hieros Gamos a.k.a. ‘Divine Union’.

Sure; my client sessions were never compromised but in ways, I was running on fumes by being a lone rogue soul with my Beloved; outcast from the church.

I also hadn’t done any grid-working since 2018 and didn’t know if I had the power on that scale to take on larger callings again (because of my fracture with the Holy Father).

This S.O.G. concept was so big and daunting that I didn’t know if a full Reclamation would ever occur. Because they had outcast my Beloved, I ran away anyways on my path and then when I found Her, I ran with Her; we ran together.

Such a reclamation; it just couldn’t be resolved on a level of logic…a more POWERFUL transfiguring experience had to happen in Spirit and Soul in order for me to regain or ever really truly gain Son of God stature for the first time in this lifetime.

So I eventually realized and sensed the codes that Bufo/5MeO-DMT were related to this reclamation. The intention eventually became so clear and strong; I would go into ceremony to face God directly and the question I would ask is;

“Am I a worthy S/son of God?”

You can read about my official write-up of the 5MeO-DMT crucible here.

And to fast-forward; basically what I experienced was this direct UNIFICATION with Source where God the Father and Son were one and the same.

There was literally no separation. Because that was my direct experience which was so powerful and prescient; it overwrote all of the other religious coding with Higher Truth.

Now I’ve just been in a suspended state of nouveau as a reunified Son of God; previous beliefs invalidated.

Of course the God with and through yet ultimately beyond all religious doctrine embraces and loves The Goddess and Muse as a Daughter of God (or Allah or The Tao, ie.).

Sure, I’m still on a gnostic hermetic path you could say, but I just can’t let religious conditioning hold things back anymore including from claiming my S/son of God stature.

The DMT crucible was the first part (1/3) of what happened to be 3/3.

I had the second Son of God experience during the 2nd night’s morning during a relapse of the experience with still-activated DMT where I further integrated Son of God as well as received a blessing for Beloved and I.

This felt so complete and wholesome and yet I was open to further integration experiences for strengthening down the line.

I knew ahead of time that my ideal outlook was to have the experience itself as the main thing (DMT) which DID end up working perfectly as ‘real’ and then to do a completion self-activation as well. The intention and effect aligned.

The final third of the official Reclamation I did during regular heavy session space where I did the Son of God archetypal self-activation embodiment into my energy body sealing and grounding it/Him. This sealed things up.

The prime reclamation was and is complete.

And yeah; 5MeO-DMT is the God molecule.

And I’ve been reunified ever since (+ stable kundalini activated without remission ; Light and Dark in perfect activated balance; not neutralized)!

Think of more of an open source, wide-bandwidth connection to Divine Masculine Light and God rather than one that is a fractal prism into the temple body.

NOW…more of the Divine Masculine POWER connection is stable and there as a Lightworker like never before. I am far more integrated and whole.

More power is opening up into embodiment (righteous power) b/c it had to do with the energetic dynamics where before I was fractured; now more foundationally complete and whole as a WORTHY S/son of God (and thus worthier-er Lover and so forth).

The approach I took was a powerful and effective one with this being more of a simple recap and documentation which is historical in my life path and thus those I influence.

Other men may have to go through their own reclamation; if they’re even called to it. And this is foundational for more fully integrated Grail Lover and King as well.

This was a life-changing experience on its own and central to everything from here forward. Religion can do SUCH a number on people.

You yourself may still be fractured in ways from the Holy Mother or Father beyond religious programming. You may not feel and be AS a worthy s/Son or d/Daughter.

Hermetic gnostics prefer a more direct experience and intimate relationship with God (vs. the ‘security’ of the church fractal and its lens).

Although there is still value and a path within different religions and I still refer to forms of worship music in temple time experience;

I’m going with the Holy Father who exists beyond religious fractals constrictions; the Divinely Sourced Father that embraces the Divine Feminine and Beloved.

There is a gnostic version and timeline of Christ which is Christos-Sophia who values and embraces the Divine Feminine.

We’re talking about a Father that doesn’t want, controlling, weaker men to stay in control; but one who acknowledges both the masculine and feminine principle; it’s just some men may have to rise into reclaiming their power and worthiness with the feminine in reunification of their own for THE HOLY GRAIL HONORS AND EXALTS BOTH. They are reunified.

I’m not against Christianity but they haven’t integrated Grail principle.

Other grail path gnostics also have to deal with this fracture as well and we are choosing a more reunified God, freer from patriarchal shadow suppression of the Feminine; one that embraces both Son and Daughter of God and their potential as fractal Lovers of most high.

There are still unanswered questions as far as how mainstream religion may integrate or catch up (if ever).

Anyways…now on this still heretical path; Divine Masculine principle is more ‘on my side’ than ever as a Guardian, Warrior with and for my Beloved on this Grail path.