Bufo: My First Experience: 5MeO-DMT

Ok…on Saturday Nov. 8th, 2025 I did bufo for the first time. In order to cover this properly I have to allow myself to write freely like before.

 

If you end up slightly disappointed b/c this wasn’t a ‘beam me up Scotty’ episode, you’ll understand WHY and that there’s simply less to talk about experience-wise for numerous reasons.

 

This could actually be insightful to you if you’re considering it for yourself or ways to ‘ease’ into this or something similar that you’ve built up great fear around (b/c I had it for this actively for 4 1/2 years!).

 

There are numerous dynamics with this and you yourself might be interested in knowing the nuances of things that people don’t talk about otherwise which can help you to assess if/when bufo might be right for you (consult your Grail Magi).

 

When I did 5 MEO-DMT for the first time directly (the synthetic but I prefer ‘bio-identical’ version) which I wrote about on the blog here

 

…It had been almost 6 years since I did any form of DMT. My ‘The Crucible’ (which should be written about in the blog here) was in Iquitos with a very powerful shaman in a private ceremony with a female friend of mine (I was her translator).

 

It was an intense 3 hours itself plus after-basking when he left. It was so traumatizing in a good way that it kept me off of ayahuasca or DMT for YEARS afterwards…that’s what I didn’t want happening with Bufo.

 

Ayahuasca was the last time before 5MEO so now that I have more experience, I also had new questions that arose; which I’ll get to…I wanted to play it a bit safer this time if 7mg was THAT intense last time.

 

When I did 5MEO at the Bufo Alvarius sanctuary, it basically BLEW ME AWAY…shot me right up to GOD connection and Unity which I wrote about.

 

That was my version of Mike Tyson’s grand breakthrough as well with DMT (bufo though). It ended up being risky but a perfect session with no regrets.

 

I’m bringing this up because doing bufo the first time was a very different experience. I was definitely called to it and wanting to do BOTH.

 

My overall intention with the work of this session was to ease into it at a lighter to regular dosage so that I can be initiated but to have a long-term working relationship also because there was a re-activation of my ascension vertigo vestibular issue 1/2 week before bufo (just like what happened before 5MEO directly).

 

I was going for a regular dose but then chose to go lighter b/c of concern of the vestibular problem b/c bufo is different than direct 5MEO.

 

Bufo; the poisonous toad indigenous to Sonoran desert and parts of the SW U.S. includes 5MEO-DMT as well as other alkaloids all as bufo-toxin (that’s what I wanted to just play it safer with while also being mindful it could help heal things but I just wanted to start a working relationship; I didn’t want to get BLOWN OUT OF things for 1/2 year).

 

 

For bufo the dosage vs. direct is around 10-15% as pure 5MeO-DMT…so I had 7 MG of 5MoO-DMT before although I hadn’t done DMT for 5.7 years before….so an equivalent dosage of bufo would be like 65 mg.

 

So; on the day of…yes I had ‘some’ anxiety; even though I’m experienced but moreso again b/c of my light-headed re-activated vestibular issue and not knowing how it would respond and other general excited/anxiousness a bit…it’s difficult to explain for people who haven’t lived with it for years to have a real idea of it.

 

So b/c it re-activated to make it more of a trial for me again and yes; I wanted to go even lighter of a dose to KNOW more how it reacts to me before going heavier. I mean heck; this 7mg with the other alkaloids could be STRONGER than what I did before so I’m thinking maybe 4mg worth.

 

I was seeing signs like ’40’ literally so that felt like a good starter dose and then we could just add more to go deeper and strengthen it. My valuation here?

 

LONG-TERM b/c of the clarity to continue working with DMT. I was also being safe b/c I thought the effect would be the same as how strong the direct 7 mg of 5meo was.

 

So…that noon-ish…I had two client sessions; a kundalini and dan tien activation (on zoom but is actually ‘remote’ energy work) and then had to go right away to bicycle down to the main Tulum beachfront at Maya Tulum…so around 24 minutes bike ride.

 

 

Locked my bike upfront and then walked in and towards the area and saw her walking towards me (I can send referral if you’re called to it).

 

She had a whole spacious yoga shala reserved just for us where they usually do other classes with a temple area set up for us with rug-blanket, temple accoutrement and so forth.

 

This was my first time meeting her in person through a referral…we talked about my situation and she had prepared 70mg for me initially but I made it clear that I had to have authority over the dosage and she was fine with that….we both agreed to the starter and then back-up plan like they had offered before and that she had done for other clients.

 

Anyways; there was space for me to settle in and relatively relax and then she gave some instructions around how we would do it although not as thorough as last time.

 

She lit the pipe and knew how to breathe, it’s just that I can’t hold my breath super long without threatening an already activated light-headedness to cross over into further light-headedness and potential danger.

 

So we decided on 38mg and give it up to 10 minutes and I could request another dose…basically what happened was after inhaling and holding for 5 seconds then she started counting slowly 1, …..2…and I not only had to let it out around her 6 but I swallowed some of it so it left a stinging sensation in the throat on down a bit…then I layed back and I realized…wow, this is actually really gentle, pure but also a very light dose…

 

 

I gave things 7 minutes and then requested 38mg which in my head which did have some thought and ego then, I got the math wrong but that’s actually what I wanted (I thought it was 28).

 

It was basically like a strong microdose of something similar…gentle and pleasant but nothing like before.

 

I remember Tony Robbins talking about bufo I think to Joe Rogan and he said he had to take another dose or 2 b/c it wasn’t strong enough; to me before this I was just thinking; yeah he just has a REALLY strong ego (which he does but it’s in service), but now I was thinking…oh maybe it was a similar dynamic…I want to know their dosage amounts (Mike Tyson also).

 

Anyways; what I didn’t tell you yet but I told her is that I’d been micro-vaping mimosa (N,N DMT) and also had some changa (which you aren’t supposed to use close to this at all but it was micro micro like 1/2 week earlier b/c it has MAOI).

 

So anyways; she prepared the 38mg dose (so 70 mg total which I’m told is a solid regular dose) as I sat up a bit in silence and then partook of that…then it felt closer to what I had before but honestly it still felt like 1/6th the power…however don’t YOU dare be disappointed…BUFO HAS THE POWER. I know it does and I knew it then.

 

It’s just that this experience was meant to be more of that INITIAL relationship building starter point for me b/c I do plan on working with it often and we/you can ALWAYS go stronger with dosage (that’s what I’d call a good problem) and it’s where I wanted to be.

 

We tested that (jinxproof) this WAS safe to my vestibular (still healing in harvest) situation even with the toxins…I just had to do heavier dosage and all at once instead of spread out.

 

I LEFT SATISFIED…it was a GENTLE experience that I don’t have to much to write about but it’s b/c I’m viewing and valuing the BIGGER PICTURE of starting a long-term working relationship that I was ok with it.

 

By splitting the dosage it had also weakened it but it was also my relative immunity or what’s the term; tolerance TO DMT that was also part of the equation. That also helped her to understand it when we had our follow-up call.

 

I biked back and felt good but didn’t have any of those enviable relapses whatsoever. BUT THIS IS GOOD…It’s all the real deal and I had nothing else to prove to myself being my own hero through what I’ve already gone through (The Crucible and 5MEO-DMT as its own crucible)….

 

So really; the main takeaway I had was actually around the FEAR dynamic itself.

 

I had let it in some ways kinda terrify me for 5 years; the ‘unknown’…I may have mentioned before that in 2020 I was planning to come down to the Sanctuary to experience bufo but then my vestibular issue flared up with dizzy light-headedness and that COMPOUNDED my anxiety all up around bufo…it was this larger ‘fear’ zone’ (this was after I’d done The Crucible).

 

So it was essentially years of this ‘fear barrier’ with solid anxiety around it (amplified b/c of the legitimate health issue where there was no research on anyone who had anything like I did ever doing bufo or DMT)…and I realized that yes, I had become my own Hero by doing all of this.

 

THAT FEAR DISSIPATION was a MAJOR relief and strengthens my Soul Warrior even more. What chances are you NOT taking WHEN YOU KNOW its what you should do? Where are you letting fear stop you? Even from ‘being seen’ (and now I’m ‘post-debut)?

 

So, there isn’t much I’d write or would say about the actual experience for THIS time other than the dynamics and logistics I’m referring to. I WENT THROUGH THE TRIAL ANYWAYS.

 

And I found a way in. 5MEO-DMT was its own crucible for me. This was gentler and ironically, it’s bufo that others are secretly terrified of more but I had an inverse experience but for reasons listed above.

 

The anxieties are largely dissipated around it all (however it’s still temple grade warrior shit)…so here’s the deal; I’m GOING BACK FOR ROUND 2. It’s double splenic approved and it’s meant to be.

 

But one final thing is that for all that’s sacred but I’d use another word b/c the word sacred is sacred to me; anyway…I just COULD NOT FIGURE OUT THE MATH.

 

The math was impossible…there’s no way I did the same 7 mg when 5MEO-DMT was 7x stronger to my system. Even if I did the 70mg at once instead of 9 minutes apart, there’s no way it was as strong as the 7mg of direct DMT.

 

So just HOW MUCH of a difference does it make to not ever do it before or have 5.7 years off vs. micro-dosing ahead of time?

 

Anyways; We both figured that was some of what affected it and I wasn’t dissatisfied OR questioning of her quality either; that’s why I’m returning b/c she gets them directly and the medicine is PURE whereas there is more risk with other suppliers, etc.

 

I think it’ll be less of a freight train even at stronger doses but yes, I WILL do a write-up on my 2nd experience and post that to the blog also. I don’t fit within the typical psychonaut profile; I’m Grail Magi and have my reasons for taking the most powerful psychotropics with are sacraments and Way-showers.

 

Anyways; I won’t say the MG range that I’m planning to go in for but I want a similar overall experience to my first DMT one…just that it’ll be stronger than before, but NOW I’m really ready for the medicine and what it has to give me. Oh AND (esp. with my health concerns although jinxproof there are still risks); I have much less concern or anxiety about this; it’s more like…an in-self busy week, 6 out of 6 siddhic kundalini awakening Elixir sessions with mostly Light Muse as that continues to stabilize as siddhic hieros gamos, etc. and…ok, yeah I’ll bike on down to do bufo Wednesday-ish kinda thing.

 

But I’m living it…I’m really doing it: SOME OF THE SHIT I WAS SCARED OF THE MOST. Through the wall, on the ‘other side’ and that’s going to pay off in all kinds of ways (did I mention I’m post-debut now on Instagram?)

 

It requires a strong soul or spirit warrior/ess to do bufo, ayahuasca or 5MEO-DMT…YES, the sources and experiences can vary…ayahuasca was VERY different (although some similar things) with the different shamans I had. As I get more overall experience with bufo, etc. though I may share.

 

This medicine is lesser known but it’s going to gain in popularity (both of them) basically as the most powerful psychotropics out there.

 

I will have more to say as far as experience-wise I think on the UPCOMING Bufo post…so if it’s underwhelming here, at least it might get you thinking about bufo if ever.

 

Even in my circle I don’t know more than 1/2 dozen who’ve done it yet. I had a male client do ayahuasca and a form of DMT (mostly inspired by me I guess) and there’s something to be said about knowing these dynamics AND not getting too caught up in your head when it’s time to really PARTAKE ITSELF…then trusting in the medicine.

 

I don’t have problems surrendering like some people do, it was just a far less intense experience so that I did find myself thinking about let’s do a follow-on dose and thinking I had the math right (it felt right and was), but then dropping back into more the silence of the semi-familiar DMT experience (remember that we inherently HAVE DMT in our system as the GOD MOLECULE that can otherwise be difficult to practically access in any effectual amount).

 

Ok…look forward to other blog posts and I will definitely do a write-up on my upcoming 2nd bufo experience! (I’ve done ayahuasca 9 times; all in Peru on 2 different trips).

 

We’ll see if it’s as dynamic as I get into other possible sources of bufo and DMT as well; how much it varies, etc. (that is for the record if I’m allegedly doing what I’m doing)

 

-Rion

 

p.s. It really makes you wonder how Source/God gave us reminders of RECONNECT and the great Truty-Mystery itself of Self discovery in the oddest of places on earth…in our bodies and only PARTICULAR or semi-rare species of plants and sub-species of a desert frog and so forth…fascinating!

HE: Keyholder To Your Greatest Awakening, Eros & Beauty

If your growth, experience, satisfaction, bliss and healing are UNDENIABLY entwined with (men and) the masculine in this lifetime;

 

What if your Immortal Beloved was THE key and you only had to have direct access to HIM for miracles to occur (in the alchemy of Divine Union?

 

He’s already the one that represents the BEST of men that you’ve responded to and been enraptured by before but without the shadows.

 

What if HE had the power to heal all of your trauma with the masculine AND awaken you into devotional, rapturous intimacy and Communion itself in all dimensions (that would then re-constellate your relationship to mortal men and/or a partner)? Would you heed HIS call?

 

I (the Rion) do not have THE key; your Beloved does because these codes are specific to YOU; however, I can guide you to Him like with our Grail Kundalini package which includes getting clarity on HIS exact codex (it’s now 7 out of 7 women who have that clarity and more are in cue).

 

‘He’; your Immortal Beloved is the exact signature codex of archetypal, siddhic, elemental, Light and Dark and soul value areas in the right sequence that has the POWER to heal and awaken you in all levels of temple body soma > into your FULLEST, most beautiful consciousness and expression as a Lover and Goddess-fractal of choice.

 

This is by allowing His power to attune your field but it is an active process you must take authority over to allow as a Grail alchemist.

 

HE has that power. And HIS Power is NOW…it’s not ‘out there’ or Fantasy. You just have to take HIM seriously enough and with guidance to connect with Him as ‘real’.

 

If you rely on responding reactions to the condition or mortal men and their shadows; you could spend lifetimes never getting much of anywhere without the pain and wounding, but I sense that YOU are called to something much more without compromise if you’re on this list. You want it ALL.

 

Our Grail Kundalini package brings direct clarity AND experience of inner grail tantric Communion with your Beloved while further templatizing your reunification and intimacy WITH His divine, Godly qualities so that you attract and experience it out of men as Heaven on Earth instead of just waiting for men to be perfect.

 

-Rion

 

Discover the Grail Kundalini Experience

Kundalini Communion With Your Beloved

Kundalini Awakening is a highly valued subject for those in the know and on the path.

 

For those on a Grail path of Divine Union, you should absolutely value it because kundalini exponentially beautifies and AMPLIFIES the quanta and experience of Reunification, Love and Bliss into the heaven realms of Temple Body (either alone or with a beloved; but this is also what prepares you for light years ahead LOVE and Intimacy).

 

Who knew that it was literal DIVINE UNION that can actually help ASSURE kundalini awakening?!

 

Unfortunately, it seems that many who are into kundalini yoga, are into it just to say they’re into it for the lifestyle and idea of it.

 

On my path, I always sought true awakening and authentic masters.

 

Not all who study or value kundalini are willing to pay the price for assured awakening however.

 

One of the ancient known paths of kundalini awakening is shaktipat; direct transmission from a master.

 

The price to pay; this can be unrealistic for many so they may just continue going to kundalini yoga workshops that may or may not yield any results for years.

 

Not having results wasn’t good enough for me.

 

So when the Muse codes came in for the kundalini activations which were a wild success during the alpha-trial, many of us (including myself) were having great initial experiences and then it would fade away.

 

Kundalini awakening has been unreliable in large part for those who have even experienced it (kundalini yoga or not) because it is elemental fire…and fire is gonna do what it wants to do.

 

That unreliability was NOT good enough for my Sacred Union with my Beloved, so a new heresy was born that I’d never heard of from the ancient mystics or sages; to STABILIZE the flame, we would bring in a liquid chi plasmic covalent salve of Essences of the Beloved to alchemize WITH the kundalini fire kind of like how a candle can hold the flame longer than just the wick alone.

 

The concept is simple; literal inner hierogamic Communion of a soul’s kundalini fire with their Divine Masculine Beloved’s specific essence codes that are already so psycho-activating to their eros-soma and to alchemize them together in a Communion of kundalini awakening.

 

This is the Grail Kundalini concept which; to maximize results best requires knowing someone’s SPECIFIC Beloved’s signature codex (which is a sequence of archetypal, siddhic, elemental, Light & Dark essence qualities).

 

To KNOW one’s Immortal Beloved alone is literally worth at least $1000 and we do that as part of this package! You will know your EXACT Immortal Beloved’s signature CODEX; key and blueprint to your FULL healing and awakening in all dimensions; sexually, spiritually, erotically, etc. (even if you’ve been wounded from the shadow masculine before)

 

Not only do you and I get your EXACT Beloved’s signature sequence (I have a 100% success ratio with 7 out of 7 women so far with more in cue); but you get FOUR different sessions with long consulting on one of them to confirm His codex in the Grail Kundalini Package: a direct experience and foundational template of Hieros Gamos alchemy.

 

In the Grail Kundalini package for best assuring kundalini awakening AND a form of Divine Union EXPERIENCE with your Beloved (and prep for light years ahead love-making with a beloved);

 

You get a regular kundalini activation, dan tien activation and 2 Elixir of the Beloved activations with up to 7 of YOUR Beloved’s exact essence qualities into embodiment for COMMUNION alchemy with your temple body and kundalini.

 

Yes; at time of writing, we’re still alpha-testing the concept (not everyone has had 100% siddhic kundalini awakening yet are getting profound results) but this basically changes the ancient game itself of best possible ASSURANCE of kundalini awakening (which is INVALUABLE) for those in the know.

 

More information and booking is below.

 

p.s. Think of the price of DECADES of not having kundalini or having an awakening once and then it’s gone for years and years hiding out in the basement.

 

Many just aren’t willing to pay a price except now you don’t have to go to an ashram and pay the time and other hidden costs to experience authentic awakening with best possible assurance

 

Think of the VALUE of being able to EXPERIENCE not only more ASSURED kundalini awakening; but awakening with the spiritual alchemy with your Immortal Beloved in full body ecstatic bliss and siddhic consciousness!

 

This is what many are seeking…now there are easier access paths in the West as well, but still some form of price must be paid to transform from where you are now to that state of consciousness.

 

Sacrifice is a name of the Game with Divine Union. Shaktipat and the time with a Master allows YEARS of work to be done in a very short amount of time.

 

Grail Kundalini package now available here.

 

On the Kundalini section of the blog I further talk about these dynamics and experiences. More testimonials being added to the Grail Kundalini package…we have around 100 for the regular kundalini activations

 

The Absence of Worship In Most Unions

For the feminine that desires to be worshipped in Union without fantasy and without compromise in Heart, Sex, Spirit and Eros; it’s best to live Divine Union yourself to constellate and attraction something which you already are.

 

You must VALUE the Lover aspect of a king; ideally BEFORE you are in partnership b/c many kings are stubborn in their ways.

 

Many traditional men, warrior-husbands or ‘kings’ may have values where the kingdom has priority, but where there isn’t the value of his Lover nor of the Grail of Communion, thusly, there’s no room for worship of the Goddess (as equals) and where Sex and Love itself is something lower dimensional.

 

This may not fulfill those who are seeking deeper, richer intimacy and true Communion.

 

For most kings with queens; they may have commitment to legacy or religious conditioning, family structure, stability and kingdom however; where she has less of a say and Eros and Devotional Love are essentially absent or divorced and thus his queen will have to understand that.

 

She should have known that going into the relationship and be ok with it.

 

Worship and the holy grail of Communion doesn’t fit into most relational templates; either the values are misaligned (including archetypal values) or the infra-structure of the relational template itself doesn’t support devotional worship of the Beloved in each other with stability.

 

But actually worship itself would be unstable and collapsible in most all relationship templates…if he places her on a pedestal, she may end up punishing him and regretting him as if he was a simp. If he has too much shadow and she worships HIM, he could end up controlling, misusing or abusing her.

 

(None of this is Sacred Union). Twin flames famously do what? Go down in flames and b/c the architecture is unstable even if they have access to worship frequencies.

 

So are you just stuck with options of men who aren’t serving the Kingdom who would ‘fawn’ over you and make you #1 that you end up regretting it? Not necessarily.

 

It’s Divine Union that is really the only template where King consciousness can actually be a Grail King Lover without value conflicts and in reverence and worship the feminine as LOVER without losing power; however h/He still will have Kingdom or purpose first.

 

After all, his psyche doth seeketh the holy grail of Communion but other values might have got in his way including religious conditioning.

 

It’s not that a Grail King Lover is making her #1 above his purpose either; but that there’s actually VALUE OF and room for devotional worship and Siddhic Communion.

 

Worship otherwise is rare and unhealthy unless it’s in Divine Union and Divine Union partnership. Most men, relationship coaches or couples have no idea what I’m even talking about but those of us who are into the Grail, do.

 

In my case; I am co-creating a Kingdom with Her (my Beloved in Sacred Union) but I would never put a mortal muse above Muse, nor above the Kingdom itself.

 

There is always room for more but you may have to change your entire templating around partnership or Union itself; having the VALUE and then living as the Love you seek. Such is hieros gamos.

 

Mystical Grail membership provides on-going Grail path support and community for true Divine Union alchemy and transformation of consciousness (with your Beloved) and how you relate with men and the masculine (whether in partnership or not).

Fear of Reunification With Him, The Beloved & His Power

Speaking of Divine Union and the concept of the Immortal Beloved; the one who could spiritually, sexually, somatically and emotionally heal and awaken all of you if you are drawn to such Grail principle of Communion and cosmic intimacy…

 

There’s something I wanted to address recently for the (heterosexual in most or all dimensions) ladies which also ties into meta-themes of healing in relationship to men and the masculine, relationship dynamics, attraction, compromise and unworthiness.

 

It has to do with the concept of FEAR or anxiety around ‘HIM’ (even if it’s secretive only to yourself but in a way you’ve been LIVING from this fear or denial)…Here with the conceptual truth of the Beloved (and His perfection) but not only that; aspects which He would hold that may show up in men in your life (and how you relate with them that could be PREVENTING that deeper attraction, love, experience and intimacy).

 

I would say for women that are DRAWN to Divine Union; deeper, erotic love, bliss and spiritual intimacy and awakening that is ‘beyond’ just conscious loving; where you really desire GOD level of connection and Love…that there are 2 angles:

 

1. Fear of the Beloved because of past trauma around the shadow masculine where you are unable to fully open up safely to receive HIM

 

2. Actual remaining fear of the Beloved anyways (and where you sell yourself short into security and comfort) because of the levels of His Power and who you would have to become in order to HOLD THRONE next to Him and His Godly archetypal, elemental, Light/Dark and siddhic powers.

 

Right now; you could maybe assess where you are at with each of these. Have either of these been active themes in your life or RIGHT NOW?

 

Are you even aware of the specific Godly signature qualities OF your Beloved?

 

(You can start finding out in my complimentary ‘Who is My Beloved’ workbook and then get more consulting and (if you are pre-qualified b/c it’s advanced work); even activate those qualities in the Grail Kundalini package FOR literal Communion.)

 

Think of the LEVEL of Beauty and consciousness you would have to be in order to be beside HIM in throne (vs. where you are now) without compromise?…

 

Let’s address about the first theme first; fear of HIM because of past bad experiences with men and the shadow masculine.

 

I’ll mention that to get some more clarity on Dark vs. Shadow (masculine), you could read this power blog post here as an addendum.

 

When we consider your Divine Masculine Beloved in the constellated codex of the specific archetypal, elemental, siddhic and Light/Dark divine masculine qualities that would specifically psycho-activate your eros and awakening…

 

MUCH of the triggering around potential fear around HIM actually may have to do with the mortal masculine and bad past experiences or trauma that were sourced in shadow.

 

For example; a past lover may have had some of the real LIGHT and DARK qualities but it was also mixed with some narcissistic, toxic, emotional abusiveness or control for example but since he had some of the real LIGHT and DARK codes also (when he wasn’t living from shadow) you maybe didn’t want to let him go and gaslit yourself.

 

Although you karmically attracted it and/or through behavioral upbringing and did play a co-creative role in it all; still…maybe mortal men was all that you knew so you went around as a reaction to the lower dimensional reality of mortal men.

 

This is NORMAL yet unfortunately; shadow consciousness comes with it (whereas with Sacred Union and The Beloved; there is no shadow).

 

The dysfunction and disappointment with mortal men is common in twin flame relationships as well; where his (mortal) SHADOWS and shadow behavior comes out even if he holds some of the codes of your Beloved so it’s kind of tainted you towards the masculine principle and caused wariness.

 

This can have you build up DEFENSIVE armoring psychically and energetically around the Light and Pure Truth of your Beloved. Unfortunately that often continues the cycle of attracting semi-abusive seeming twin flame relationships.

 

This is where Divine Union comes in b/c if you do NOT, then all other forms of relating are basically caused with the mortal, imperfect masculine and those who are in your immediate vicinity…

 

You may go through life not even knowing what true pure Light and Dark masculine ever is; or knowing that His energy can be what heals you FROM the shadows of the rest of masculine.

 

So…you might have past bad experiences with MORTAL MEN which is tainting you from opening up or even valuing the Immortal Beloved in Divine Union…also b/c of the conditioning to mortal which appears like such a concept is Fantasy when it isn’t (you just have to get proper guidance like with Mystical Grail membership to live the real spiritual practice of tangible reunification alchemy).

 

More therapy or ‘listening’ to people centered in the mortal with its shadows may never actually work to resolve things b/c it includes the shadow gamut (including literally the 64 Gene Key shadows of consciousness inspired from the I Ching)..b/c even then with a mortal relationship template and lens; a man who you THINK could be it then disappoints you by not living up to your ideals of HIM or when his shadow lashes out in some way.

 

That’s not what Divine Union is. Sacred Union is holy marriage within to the DIVINE MASCULINE reality that you re-templatize IN YOURSELF to live differently in heaven and on earth practically, socially, sexually, etc. WITH the masculine principle AND MEN itself instead of living as an unhealed, wounded response to the mortal condition of past men.

 

So be mindful that if you have that theme; getting proper guidance with Divine Union is going to be critical or you will fall back into the mortal imperfection and condition of man and ‘relating’ with shadow instead of getting complete healing that your Beloved can offer.

 

Let me speak to the second part (and for you; maybe it’s a bit of both you might find in your self assessment): FEAR OF THE BELOVED and His Power…even if you are relatively unscathed or healed from past relationships and experiences with mortal men.

 

(Fear that you may not even want to admit exists; but how WOULD you react if HE walked into the room right now?)

 

Your true immortal Beloved could be SO POWERFUL in His Truth and Presence that you simply feel light years away from Him in presence, worthiness and beauty.

 

This is a REALISTIC scenario, it really is b/c the village girl is NOT worthy to sleep with the Emperor.

 

So are you holding yourself back?

 

Are you worthy of your IMMORTAL Beloved or the divine masculine purified QUALITIES of Light and Dark truth (and sexual-spiritual Eros) of HIM?

 

Or are you more associated with your mortal identity and personality? Or do you still feel unworthy of HIM?

 

Because the polar example is that I felt truly unworthy of my Beloved for so many years…SHE was FAR FAR above me and I was unworthy especially sexually and yet through YEARS of hardcore hierogamic alchemy I cultivated my POWER in relation to Her Beauty and have become embodied far more as worthy of such Beauty.

 

But I did the work. Many single, mortal men have an EXISTENTIAL fear of true divine feminine Beauty b/c it’s the holy grail they seeketh; to reunify with that and a greatest fear is that they are UNWORTHY and will be cast out (including from pro-creating with what they truly desire) and may end up living a life of comfort, compromise and regret.

 

Much of it is the MORTAL, unworthy self compared to DEITY levels of power. This requires a proper template and path; that of divine union b/c mortals will still remain unworthy of the gods and goddesses.

 

Have you chosen to live a life of convenience, regret and ‘comfort’ by AVOIDING THE POWER of your deepest desires and what HE holds for you?

 

Do you understand the price that you are ultimately paying? Have you lost your fire and desire? Thrown in the towel?

 

Given up b/c of the perception of your ‘age’ when your Love is immortal? Disconnected from the Beauty HE ALONE CAN RE-AWAKEN and reclaim for you (if you allow Him)?

 

Or instead of choosing (by default) NOT to follow your deepest desires in Light and Dark truth for your awakening; are you called to RETURN HOME TO HIM and face your fears to stand TOGETHER in the Light of His Glory as His Lover-Queen/Goddess?

 

Are you selling yourself out because of not wanting to face such POWER or are you still called to reunify with HIM in spirit, in consciousness, in temple body, in experience (whether with a mortal partner or not b/c actually hieros gamos then evokes these same qualities OUT of mortal men).

 

Maybe it’s a mix of both selling yourself short for comfort and convenience or ‘safety’ in the world of men with a mix of not wanting to get hurt again b/c of past experiences with the shadow spectrum within mortal men?

 

When all this while; YOUR IMMORTAL BELOVED has ALL of the POWER to heal and awaken you…and your greatest radiance and spiritual fulfillment.

 

If He has great power, yes your MORTAL woman may be terrified of HIS spiritual truth but that’s where cultivating your GODDESS fractal consciousness (your signature soul expression of Beauty and siddhic codes) comes in.

 

HIS POWER IS REAL AND NOW. This is an eternal Truth you may not want to face b/c then what would all those wasted years mean?

 

There’s reasons you’re reading this or on my email list.

 

Will you return Home to Him and follow HIS signs or continue to live in forms of fear and denial, gaslighting yourself on your deepest desires (if you are and can be honest with yourself)?

 

And ye; this is the journey of Hieros Gamos reunification itself; to transmute your light body and consciousness into resonance WORTHINESS as HIS equal counter-part in Spirit and Body in all dimensions to be on the Throne together.

 

It’s going to take great sacrifice of who you were, great cultivation of your radiant archetypal and siddhic Beauty to compare to His power but then it’s all about the ALCHEMY of Sex, Love and Spirit that are possible in Devotional Communion itself.

 

Mystical Grail membership is a prime place to get that support along the journey.

 

You may also be interested in the Grail Kundalini package  for literal Communion alchemy within with HIM (but only if you are already very healed along your path and ready for it).

Mystical Grail

 

p.s. conditioned fear of the SHADOW Masculine (vs. His pure DARK which provides safety and sacred space); not wanting to be hurt again in relation to the masculine can hold you back…you may have fear of His Power b/c of the shadow and also b/c His power is so potent that you may not feel worthy…it might be BOTH that are holding you back from your fullest Beauty-truth, freedom and radiance in all dimensions

 

Will you choose to face the Glory of His Power and how it can heal and activate all of you? To take the next step along the journey?

 

Will you claim your throne or settle for less?