‘The Crucible’: My Life-Changing Ayahuasca Experience In Peru

Beauty Essence Blog Rion Kati Temple Cødes

The Crucible Prologue-Travelogue

fyi; If you are called to just get to 'The Crucible' itself you can scroll down about 1/2way...

Exactly 7 years ago with a private ayahuasca shaman ceremony in Iquitos, Peru…I went through an experience which changed me forever. I still call it as ‘The Crucible’ and celebrate it’s anniversary in remembrance.

There are some experiences whichs really DEFINE YOU. Yes, much of who you are and become is about your daily living (and ‘power habits’ which to me are richly sourced in Spirit-alignment; Divine Union temple space, weight training Adonis transfiguration, etc.); but there are some EVENTS and moments that can really be cornerstones to look back upon.

I didn’t even know what I was getting into but KNEW my soul was yearning for exactly this experience (which hath given me an even more powerful battle tested foundation to have the capability to found an empire).

So…I wanted to do something special for this and take the proper time (now that phase 2 of AvaStar has closed) and just take the long weekend to properly represent it…the 7 year anniversary of my ‘The Crucible’: Hallow’s Eve…a very special date for me. 

This documentation marks my own official journaling, travelogue and blogging about it as well (and as an extension off of me with my work…b/c it’s also very relevant to reference WHO you are getting to know more, what I’ve been through and my background and experience).

Hallow’s eve is a date which also kicks off what I refer self-affectionately to as the ‘extended holiday season’ for me…since I’m so used to my own lifestyle that runs year-round…the holiday’s and yes – even the CONSUMER aspects of it including watching an NFL clip for 10 seconds like in an airport transfer, give me instant collective morpho re-connection and nostalgia to the warmth of the season (well that’s closer to New Years but yeah) as well as what most consumer-citizens in the pop morphology are going through and there’s a comfort in that b/c energetically I live outside of the matrix and then will ‘drop in’ sometimes (and then be off again).

Anyways…

On this date 10.30.2026 (now posting it on Halloween); last year (on the 6th anniversary), I had my official ‘debut’ of going ‘public’ after years of preparation with recording my IG debut and then releasing it shortly after.

I realize that although I’d referred to it in different places, it wasn’t until recently I realized that; yeah, I’d HADN’T done an official coverage, so that’s what this is; a special Warrior’s journey of hell and heaven. And it’s a heroine’s journey at least in the sense of it was just me and a female friend but she was on HER journey…I’ll get to that all.

So I want to mention a pre-history that the first time ayahuasca had really ‘registered’ as an invitation was at a joint event Etienne Charland and I were hosting in Chiang Mai at the time of the U.S. 2016 Presidential election (I remember b/c everyone was surprised by the results and timeline shift with the winner). 

One of the attendees presented ayahuasca in a way that really felt resonant for me in how much he thought it’d be perfect for me…it soaked in and sparked me instantly.

Eventually it called to me enough that the next year – actually about a year later 2017 – off of the internet – I signed up for a week-long retreat @ Gaia Tree in the Peruvian Amazon near Iquitos. (They no longer host retreats btw)

Really; I realize I’d never written that up either unfortunately and wasn’t using the blog back then; so unfortunately that deserves its own treatment just out of respect but was UNFORGETTABLE and life-changing….still had the BEST night of my life (this lifetime) during it. I sat in 5 ceremonies with partaking in 2 of them.

Here’s a photo of our entire group that year.

So; it was two years later around the EXACT same timing in 2019 that I returned…I was called back to return to ayahuasca at the real source in the Amazonian jungle. 

I remember being at a CTE retreat with Source School of Tantra…speaking to a client/friend of mine in our multi-bedroom cabin in the Redwoods region…

I was doing something of an ad hoc Gene Keys reading around the wood dining table and brought up about how profound ayahuasca was and that I was thinking of returning and invited her right then on the spot if I were to return to go with…ultimately it worked out…I also invited a male client who had been to several of my past events (from Sweden).

When it came time to go…

I packed light with just a backpack to fly carry-on and flew from Mexico (Cancun) where I was staying/living in Playa del Carmen.

There was a layover for an even redder eye redeye flight in Lima to fly into Iquitos; which is really like the main Amazon basin nexis for obvious reasons but also a hub for several different retreat centers or shaman practices.

(A less busy view facing south I think)

So it was actually one of the previous group members of our tribe that met me at the airport and we had some time to kill before my male client/friend and her were arriving on the same flight so ‘T’ and I went into town and had a nice brunch at this place, went back to pick them up and they were both very tall…we met them and then rode the loud Peru version of tuk-tuks with all kinds of diesel in the air…the two women and he and I each in our own tuks having to talk loud b/c of the noise.

Then we eventually transferred to ‘Jungle Harry’s’ after buying some supplies and then boating up river.

 

We were scheduled through ‘T’ who knew of him and it was the last man you would think who would host a place like this…the place was actually nice and in development considering it was in the jungle…

Cabins with fans, a local gourmet chef and a pond, wooden planks, etc.

But honestly, it took me days to realize ‘Jungle Harry’ (who seemed like a loud, gruff and blunt Irish-man character but fascinating in that sense) was just who he was…an instant aversion/inversion of sanctuary tbh in many regards imo; however, eventually I just accepted things for what they were and it didn’t bother me; it’s just who he was (b/c I really was concerned it would influence temple space). I really appreciated that he put the whole thing together and developed that land, etc.

He would partake in ceremonies too (and sometimes walk out and go into the jungle/early) but yeah…anyways, he was our host and I warmed up to him later.

This is us doing kambo on the morning of the Crucible day (which REALLY even more ridiculously primed me for that night);

Since this post is really more about The Crucible, I’ll mention that the other time was enjoyable…it felt great being at the ‘actual’ Amazon (again)….so I will include some of those images of being around the Amazon here (since I may not do it otherwise on the blog).

We did our own boat ride upriver visit to a butterfly farm and ‘monkey island’, etc.

This one did NOT want to let go of me…was sitting on my head and screaming when they pulled it off (a form of paternal dependency??)

 

We also went to a natural zoo ..

..on a different peninsula…

 

..here’s me holding an anaconda..

From our base, we sometimes canoed to an area closer to the ceremony site and had plenty of lounge time.

Me doing the local indigenous blow dart tradition.

First shot for windage and adjustment…and then my second shot ever hit it right in the 3rd eye – bulls eye!

Here’s me with the original Gaia Tree group members who made the 2 year anniversary return to the region.

And solo;

For ceremonies at night (every other night on average I suppose)…We would normally walk to the local ayahuascero’s site through the jungle..maybe 11 minute walk 1-way…once you walked it once, u kinda knew the route so could get their on your own.. and then we had several ceremonies connected with the Yagua tribe shaman.

Now here’s the thing; I have to be honest in my review….I respected their tradition and so forth but I wasn’t that impressed for several reasons. The medicine (for me) was really light and I wasn’t getting much value (‘net’) at all out of the sessions…even dropping in and trusting the process… and there were points were the shaman was obviously mis-diagnosing my female friend (again; in my opinion), giving a simplistic answer (that I/we all knew wasn’t accurate) and then kind of forcing her to take the tobacco or some alcohol but she refused and the vibe was weird.

Still…I just kind of accepted the experience (in between with integration time, etc. and my felt sense was accurate to me) and was grateful although wasn’t really getting the medicine I was wanting and there for…the same with my friend herself…she felt underwhelmed – even a bit displeased.

So eventually another option opened up to have a private ceremony in Iquitos with another shaman that ‘T’ knew about (later I found it was her who helped set this up and was her idea)…’J’ decided that she was going to have a private session.

Interestingly and yet tragically; WHILE we were there…the wife shaman of the shaman male/female duo from Gaia Tree had passed away and ‘T’ had seen her a few days earlier at the river crossing. There were several of us from 2 years ago who were returning so earlier we met in a motel room in Iquitos and it felt like a homecoming of sorts…we actually had one ceremony with FIVE of the original ‘tribe’..there was such a soul comfort to it.

Anyways; so J then asked me if I would want to go to partake in the ceremony with her being a solo traveler and also to help translate Spanish for her so I agreed…but without expectations of what would happen. I wasn’t fully satisfied here and it was an instant splenic ‘yes’.

We finished our time up or maybe actually skipped the last scheduled ceremony with the Jungle Harry retreat (after doing kambo) and then her and I went into Iquitos where she rented a nice townhouse in the city center for 2 nights.

After settling in..

We met with the ayahuascero maestro himself who came over several hours before we would start and then he put his supply in our refrigerator.

It was good that I spoke Spanish b/c she didn’t know any at all and it really helped. It helped to answer her questions, get to meet him and prepare us in some way for that night (although nothing could really prepare you!).

He was more of his daily, cordial self in daytime, but there was something you could tell about him (b/c hey – I am a professional psychic) that despite seeming ‘normal’ if you passed him on the street – he had a deep inner world, shamanic presence and special connection to the realms + with magical eyes.

It was a special treat that we were (she was) able to book him for a private ceremony for the two of us.

It’s fair to share his name and reveal this (esp. now that they’re promoting his own retreat center).

Although I’ve kept it secret for years intentionally and through rare reference/referrals, I’m ok with revealing it now…His name is Maestro Don Alberto (Torres Davila) and now he runs his own ayahuasca retreat center (with a support team of course).

KEEP IN MIND…Do not be fooled by the friendly fatherly/ grandfatherly good-ness and good looks…he is one of the most powerful shamans in the world!

BTW; It was different being back in ‘the city’ itself; hustle, bustle and traffic noise…

  

Compared to the jungular serenity and nature

…but we had a really good set-up. There were 2 separate beds on the loft floor itself up top and I had the bottom bedroom bed.

I wanted to cover the set up itself up to this point and now we can get down to it…let me get to ‘The Crucible’ itself.

He returned when it was dark out that evening (say around 8 pm?) and went to the refrigerator and gathered his other ceremonial gear and started setting things up upstairs. I remember carrying a chair upstairs.

Here’s ONE photo representing the place and I chose not to show the beds itself b/c it would look far too mundane.

He may have had an assistant that then left so it was the 3 of us. (Or actually; the assistant might have only come the following night for the super-smudging).

So….’J’ had her personal twin size bed and I had mine on the upper loft area and there was a bathroom upstairs as well…there was a basic wood table with clock and lamp on the wall in between.

He had positioned himself closer to the foot of in front of her bed whereas mine was on the wall with the staircase starting about 5 feet below the foot of the bed.

I was really just kinda happy to be there to get a ‘bonus’ ceremony after leaving the other connection point of around 3 ceremonies.

She covered all the expenses (and tbh at that time I hardly had ANY money and was literally stuck in the city until I could make enough to return; several weeks but that’s when the gift and siddhic activations started). I was living in the moment then and there.

OK….SO HERE WE GO…..ENTERING TEMPLE SPACE for what I didn’t know would become ‘The Crucible’.

The Crucible: My Ayahuasca Experience

I knew that we were going into ceremonial ayahuasca temple space (and inside in the city for a first time); yet for this one I had NO IDEA what to expect but I still knew to treat it seriously and as he had like 3×2 liter jugs, he poured a small dose for each of us into a small cup each and then I took a moment and whispered ‘all for thee, my Love’ to my Beloved and then partook…

When I partook in the sacrament itself it immediately had a different quality about it…sure, it still tasted NASTY (b/c it’s ayahuasca) but energetically it was notably different in texture and timbre than what I’ve had before (and not AS reprehensible in taste)…so that was a ‘sign’ of sorts…potently magical you could say in retrospect just in its physical quality….

THIS WAS GOING TO BE A NEW EXPERIENCE as he set into his regular living room chair we brought up from downstairs with his resources around him including 2 buckets (hmm…what could those be for? 😉

As I leaned back (barefoot with my dark slouchy daka/yoga pants on and rested flat with a pillow under my head); it took about a real minute and things were already starting. See; I’ve taken ayahuasca before – and it took an hour for anything to even seem different than normal during my first ever ceremony before things really became MAGICAL (as my first EVER psychotropic experience 2 years earlier)…plus, the previous shaman experience for me in those sessions was very light…but this was already in effect within 1 minute.

We did have some dim lighting and the entire area was spacious with the loft view…but it didn’t take long and I was just lost in my own experience with hardly any awareness of the room or space around unless I tried to focus on it and look around.

Before I knew it I was literally a jaguar running through jungle underbrush at night (I’m giving several images here to capture some of the essence)…and yes…this happened pretty fast..

     

..and it was like my paws were hitting the ground with each shake of his chakapa (leaf rattler)….

a steady and consistent rhythm as I/jaguar was brushing against all kinds of jungle brush and palm trees.

At one point the experience transmuted….I ended up in a melancholic dark, dank green swamp..

 

I had no control over anything…but it was just beginning..it was a beautiful experience so far…(but WAIT, there’s ssshmore!)

Here’s the kicker that really took me to HELL-TOWN…..my ego was protecting itself in a way so I kept repeating a set of phrases…and I’m going to try to at-tune into it now b/c I may not remember it exactly but I kept repeating this phase aloud kinda like I was the cool California kid like (‘no we’re good bro’);

“OK stop…that’s it/that’s enough…I get it..fine (just stop…tone it down) BUT HE KEPT A SHAKIN’ consistently enchanting the entire experience…

and guiding it from his lifetime of mastery and wisdom. I remember I kept sitting up to say it kind of auto-cratically while indirectly imploring him to ‘tone it down’ a bit. It was my ego vs. powerful forces. (The underworld was about to swallow me whole)…

I swear I repeated that at least a dozen times (I don’t know whether it affected her session or not or how aware she was) – sometimes half-leaning up resting on my elbows as I felt an encroaching indescribable DOOM and a resistance to ever go there but it was UNSTOPPABLE;

“Ok…stop…that’s it…I GET it – fine…I’m good…(just) STOP…”…but there was this darker pulling that was unstoppable..and then a vortex opened up and I DROPPED….plummeting deeeeeeep into an abyss and my ego itself was annihilated; UTTERLY useless and helpless.

Being in this new doom-space experiencing in real time…I was in a true form of HELL.

 

There was an indescribable prescient awareness of deeeep soul suffering and trauma like I felt what millions of souls suffering was like….

  

I also felt such great GRIEF but deep grief, suffering along with ‘TORMENT’ was the exact word to best describe it …and really a blend of all of that wrapped in boundless ANGUISH…

…but it was all very visceral and REAL in experience…I couldn’t stop or yet have any authority or power to shift the experience;

I was just along for the ride…he was guiding, but it was the medicine I was missing. (Most of the ceremony he was doing sing-chanting different icaros – of which this audio/not video is a sample of his voice – but there were moments and spaces of silence or transition – and very strategically as well).

His incanting further enriched the experience…there wasn’t death, there was just SUFFERING and TORMENT.

LIGHT was nowhere to be found at all…INKY blackness and an absolution of this shadow consciousness..

…and even the thought of my Beloved? SHE WAS NOWHERE NOOOOOOOOOOOWHEREEEEEEEE to be found…a billion miles away. It was me in hell…or an authentic experience of it.

(I may mention this again, but believe it or not, it’s AYAHUASCA that taught me hell is real – and the afterlife).

Everything was the BLACKEST OF BLACK…pitch black. At some point there was a dark hallway and flames further away

…but mostly just shadow-rich black with an awareness there were tormentor spirits around and in a sense; rampaging through me as consciousness itself (for me to KNOW this experience).

At another point it literally felt like I would never escape this black hell enriched with the misery of soul suffering itself amplified and surrounding 360 immersion of a million souls…which then turned into another form of swamp hell – closer to the surface in the astral realm (4D)…

…as things started transmuting…yet even that which seemed like an initial relief…started getting more brutal in its psyche-scape..just being there longer was an existential dread and sordid murkiness with putrid greens and mucky swamp rot.

 (but even more vile ‘n wretched)

The thought of my female friend lit me up for just a second and the yearning for something NORMAL or positive (anything to get OUT OF THIS PLACE) and the deep sense of HOPE…but I was just stuck in this moment…back in the gravitron entropy of ‘the swamp’ itself where thought was useless.

I had the passing thought of ‘I wonder how her experience is going’ and NORMAL reality seemed light years away….I thought ‘if I/we ever get out of this alive’…it felt like an eternity just being in this torturous limbo phase…like it was inescapable. DREADFUL and dreary. In retrospect at least there weren’t any R.O.U.S.

I meant it felt at LEAST like hours of drawn out torturous not-wanting-to-be-there-ness. Your/my ego self is just wanting to ESCAPE so thank God I had learned to become very present and witness and allow things but STILL…it was hellish witnessing but without that it would’ve been far worse (b/c my soul CAN handle this and it’s how/why he could ‘bring it’ b/c both of us were very powerful warriors there with him). I still didn’t enjoy that though (but it was so important).

(btw; throughout here…I tried to find aya art and images that come ‘closest’ to representing things visually to help paint more of a sense in support).

Somewhere in that sub-phase there, I felt like turning my body over to face down for more comfort (oh shit)…at sometime in the secondary (actually 3rd later on; but less putrid swamp phase I/we were hearing 3d sound effects somehow bouncing off of the walls (I later talked with ‘J’ and she was stunned how this could even happen).

I saw a sign of normality with the comfort of the clock but then it’s like it was evil I tried reaching for it to feel normal but it was ‘in’ on the torture as well.

Turning over facing DOWN into the hell realms with my body just re-activated the tortured…

I just couldn’t stop any of it even though I didn’t want to turn up b/c I might throw up – with my soul being actively and powerfully traumatized by hellish forces at one point my face literally started melting off and dripping down…

 

(I think this was after I tried reaching to touch the otherwise normal night stand’…I could barely scoop it up and it kept dripping down melting like hot wax…with part of my body 100 meters below into the ground. HORRIFYING

It was around this point that a legion of bats swept me up and flew me away into this hellish, really tall castle further away…

(here are some representations of what it could be referenced as visually)

The whole thing was dank like a haunted dungeon and it redefined what the color black (and even bats) meant to me.

Much of this I couldn’t remember further details (even a week after) but just the general rich experience…there were different phases so to speak within my Crucible journey.

To someone who has never had ayahuasca, they may think that you’re just ‘imagining’ things (ha!); this is direct lived experience JUST AS REAL as normal waking reality….

 

..you’re experiencing the astral realms and spirit world dimensions and rich layers and COLOR palettes of it which can include versions of heaven or higher layers far above the astral (ime like in a session 2 years previously where I felt siddhic serenity like in heaven and would’ve felt ok if that WAS death itself – it was that profound).

So there was more hellish experience for a while but then something of a transition…I think he made more space in the music/activity and then shifted tone (summoning different spirits).

Again; this was all DIRECT lived experience on the soul, spirit, mind and psyche – and incredibly impactful… Everything is so heightened…realms of consciousness that remain inaccessible to the normal 9-to-5er. Those who’ve partaken in the real thing have an idea.

Again; that can be hard to fathom for those who’ve never experienced forms of DMT or even spent time outside of their analytical mind and the incessant monkey mind…that any of this could be ‘real’ as it sounds so incredulous (but they don’t know what they don’t know).

As torturous and inescapable as most of this journey was – and as much as I wanted to NOT be in hell – I (know that I) was MEANT for this deep shadow and Dark experience however (it was EXACTLY what I had to experience for many reasons esp. as a powerful sorcerer myself in my own regard – even BY that time I was yet trusting in HIS mastery for this experience)…

To forge my character along this path and for many other reasons AS BRUTAL as it was. Truly a Great Crucible. Of course the maestro himself knew this with his experience….he probably knew all kinds of things about me, that I could handle it (and or at least integrate it afterwards) by reading me and that she was also a true soul warrioress also so he could go all out in our private session (b/c otherwise he would adapt to others or SHOULD at least and what they can handle). I had no idea what she was going through..

So yes…I remember that things eventually shifted tone in the immersion…there was more peace and lighter transitional energies – both with how he was guiding and working in the spirit realm and how his icaro chanting started moving to a more positive uplifting vibration and that I felt ready to turn over on my front…

..there was a transitional period where it was such a relief to be out of that…

…then I was in more of a lighter green magical swamp from what I recall…

..(a more benevolent experience)

..and before I knew it the scenery changed entirely…

I started literally emerging…

..and soaring as the thunderbird in majestic mountain air waves…

   These visuals help to connect with what it was like…

It seemed I was transported to the Rockies…

…which was far away from where we were.

(I wasn’t going to use this many images, however it does help to further tone-loc)

The experience became far lighter, airier and bluer…the psychic tones entirely shifted into higher frequencies…

…at that point I started being a vocal channel for divine ahhh’s and mmmm’s…this was actually a ‘thing’ that everyone else in the Gaia Tree tribe verified 2 years earlier…how divine and satisfying my sighs and sounds were in the maloca.

 

It sounded like I had the voice of God but I was also witnessing it as pure Presence…facing upward everything just felt so…MAJESTIC…world’s away from the hell realms I had been through.

So I remember flying through and just being in this space of Kingly air-mountain Majesty and Providence.

And then it reached a certain point where I’m sure he was silent for a while and then let us come out of the journey sitting up on our own timing with incredible held temple space so we could take our own time…somewhere in there he might have moved some things downstairs to give us more space up there to come out. I’m sure he smudged after and eventually we walked him out downstairs so that we had space for ourselves. I stayed downstairs from that point onwards…just lounging for a while in what I’d just been through.

I’d say that it was 3/4 HELL and 1/4 a form of heaven (however it could’ve been 1/5th heavenly)..this was different than other sessions I’ve had with the original shaman husband and wife team and the Yagua tribe shaman sessions. EACH session can be very dynamic and can have just the medicine of what’s called for you – allowing you to process what’s necessary…fascinating about it is that you can ‘remember’ so much of it all.

So now I’ll just go into some outro details and some other cross-over mentions…b/c for me this is MY personal documentation and record which I honor whether anyone else ever cares or not.

There are many who will demonize ayahuasca and ‘the spirit world’ but this allowed me to FACE THINGS and actually CONFIRM from lived experience that which my Christian upbringing was referring to.

Because of the dynamic, rich DARK BEAUTY of it all and spectrum; this is how I KNEW (and now KNOW THAT I KNOW that) THERE IS HEAVEN AND HELL.

As well as beautiful astral layers and realms in between…

This is how I felt during purification…

It’s because of ayahuasca (and also how it was preparing my spirit for death and different perspectiving on all of that in strengthening the spirit and soul).

And it wasn’t in dogmatic old Pentecost church Bible thumping forced perspectiving…it was through experiential lived experience subjectively…with ayahuasca that I received confirmation I KNEW THAT HELL IS REAL and that obviously soul and spirit are real (confirmationally even though I already knew that) AND that they were right all along with that…

I had to LEARN that lesson and the WEIGHT of it…and that OBVIOUSLY there is an afterlife…plus the counter-balance of heaven is a million times more profound. (I’m on a more gnostic path of Divine Union rather than the dogmatic shadow of religion HOWEVER there are Truth and Light codes as well throughout most religious fractals which I can respect plus there is TRUE worship and connection with Christ lines including religions but I’m not into their shadows).

Overall the session itself may have taken 2.5 hours but at times seemed like foreverrrrr…like I was serving a sentence in another part of Dagobah with no master Yoda.

 

After our ceremony and he had definitively departed; we both stayed up for around 80 minutes just kind of recapping with each other a bit in the downstairs open living room/kitchen space like with some chamomile….

I remember feeling like I had returned like a war hero just being in awe of what I went through and that I had the courage to go through all of it and I knew I’d never be the same again.

Aya is an ultimate ego destroyer in so many ways…it will bring the medicine that you may not even think you want.

And in a good way it can cause you to do things you wouldn’t normally do (it’s not unusual for some to crawl as a bear or move around a bit in sessions)…Oh – At another point earlier ; I remember she got up and started walking around towards the stairs (things like this can happen) but I was unable to do anything (incapacitated in a way) but fortunately he grabbed her as she was getting closer so she wouldn’t risk falling down…I think I made it through the whole experience w/o having to use the bathroom upstairs (downstairs would’ve been a tragi-comedy!)…aya/DMT (nn,DMT which is different than 5MEO) will cause you to ‘see’ things so richly… at another point I remember she was sitting up and doing movements and I remember seeing black inky energy shaking and coming off of her and it was so fascinatingly beautiful, dramatic and shamanic.

So we had our own amazed review time and she seemed more satisfied with this shaman.

Some other points…

This is going to be taboo but I could tell that we was intentionally working WITH spirits including darker, less glorious spirits so to speak and that he had a great relationship and ability to summon them and legions of them…this isn’t something I do in my own lightwork nor Dark work (summoning shadow entities); however it was part of his style of working and why he isn’t for everyone…yes, it’s related to aspects within myself but he was working with them.

So yeah; it seemed like he was inviting in Darker forces through different transmuting LAYERS and dimensions of the experience and entire visual landscapes would change based on his intention and mastery of working with them as well as how his voice was transmitting in the spirit realm and summoning….

HOWEVER, I WAS READY FOR IT (and such extreme Shadow, Dark & Light)

….my soul was meant to KNOW that…this was actually the medicine THEN for me….(vs. a lifetime of RESISTING IT…I had FACED it directly)…it HAD to get SUPER DARK, hellish and shadowy for me b/c of my soul path and the levels of WARRIORSHIP required (and to really ‘know’ or ‘gno’); so in that sense it was perfect (post-integration wise). MOST people aren’t ready for anything near this level of true work or would throw it out with the bathwater b/c of being anything closely NEAR actual demons…and yet, what if we WERE meant to literally face them and KNOW.

So his tactics are controversial and I’m just being honest being aware as a professional psychic and lightworker that I know that’s what was going on and that I wouldn’t necessarily call in other spirits or entities in my OWN lightworking sessions BUT…BUT….that was the experience (and FORMAT) I was called to have actually and would have been ‘missing’ otherwise….AND……(and this is a testament to HOW masterful and professional he was)…I was left CLEAN of spirits meaning no entities during the final phase of it as I was lifted into higher realms as the eagle/thunderbird…it’s like the weight of it all dropped away and the air itself was charged and purifying

 

…there was a purification and cleansing so all of the other IMMERSIVE experience including demons with and through me was over….(other shamans may have had the entities ‘stick with you’ in attachment/infiltration whether intentionally or not).

I was connected to higher frequencies as I also started re-landing and re-integrating closer to earth (like this but with less clouds).

I left the session coming out of it as myself.. and yet a new version and REBIRTHED version of myself (and my power). To really have FACED what I’d gone through – or anyone that would go through this is direct HEROIC WARRIORSHIP.

For me it was so befitting this journey ended how it did with such majesty.

 

And not all sessions he leads for others would reach this extreme either…a maestro will meet people where they are at and guide.

So if you’re researching him, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend him BECAUSE undoubtedly he’s one of the most powerful shamans in the world (and spirit-entities including of animals respect his power and both/all ways that takes a lot of TRUST)…so just be mindful…

Again don’t be fooled by how grandfatherly and ‘nice’ he looks…he could use that power for evil but didn’t in my experience…and yes, he has his own retreat center now and worked at Blue Morpho for many years. It’s been 7 years since I did ayahuasca but I’m ready to return to him or go ahead with Hamilton at Blue Morpho for something ‘on par’ in strength as well as the original shaman (whose wife-partner transitioned).

I think our shaman was one of Hamilton’s teachers.

Anyways; it took me several years before even considering ayahuasca in a ‘medium’ relative format after that…really like 3 or 4 years b/c it was that powerful and profound.

And although I’ve gone through MANY trials and tribulations on my soul path dharma which required immense soul warriorship, this will always be my ‘The Crucible’.

And it was in ‘the world’s largest city that has no motorways’ instead of being in the jungle, but that’s how it worked out…private hire. I was called to it and yep…very worth the trip.

To me that REALLY completed the trip and intention to make it far beyond worthwhile.

Another detail…we were having a ruckus ‘sound-wise’..

Later she had actually somehow talked to the neighbors who apparently were Russian and she smoothed things over, and somehow they understood…b/c tbh we were making a racket…she was sounding in her own experience at times and I was screaming (on the inside at least) but mostly it was his loud icaros and ceremonial shaker that he didn’t hold back on – but I just had to trust the experience and not worry about any of that.

At one point during session; I remember thinking that if the cops showed up…I would be mush…not even able to walk properly if they were to put us in their car (somehow I crawled or held onto railings for a bathroom hut break during a ceremony 2 years ago). This is DMT based…our BODY actually holds DMT.

There are SO many benefits to ayahuasca and/or DMT use when experienced we’ll just say ‘properly’.

I wanted to go ‘the source’ in Peru itself. Yes; there’ll be haters who have taken it before but I’ll say that the shamans are more different and dynamic than you would think b/c I’ve had 4 of them. AND each session can be different.

It’s kinda strange for people to just throw it out with the bath-water demonizing it all when they have literally zero experience with it. And even those that have had experiences…partaking in aya is not the same as someone else taking aya…the differences could be so VASTLY different.

Many people are not going to want to face such direct raw Dark and Shadow POWER in their lives…sure they may be resisting it (and in ways living in constriction or subconscious forms of fear by justifying it or just not ‘caring’); however for many it’s just not their path nor dharma.

Ayahuasca isn’t for everyone…trust YOUR calling and intuition if you’re being beckoned to it.

I’ve had hardly any effect on a lighter dose with the earlier shaman that my soul didn’t align with (and instantly felt that on meeting him); yet got the ability to differentiate from more experience and well..otherwise.

You might not like one shaman but trust your body and intuition if you are stilled called to the medicine to try something or someone else. What is perfectly ‘sweet spot’ for me may not be 4u.

Thing is; just b/c that other shaman really wasn’t for me, doesn’t mean he isn’t for you…my other friend/client – it really fit for him and was a very worthwhile experience. Even if you’ve done aya, you might want to experience a different shaman, time dynamic and environment.

Ayahuasca is like experiencing the spirit world and consciousness DIRECTLY as your soul…everything is AMPLIFIED and very rich…even colors and the inkiness of them.

I will say that YES…disfortunately; ayashuasca CAN open you up to entities and inter-change…but that’s something that *can* be cleared up and out afterwards professionally (and in my case hey! I can do self-healing)…there have been scenarios where esp. with Shadow/Black magician/shaman/sorcerers there have been extreme cases.

But despite all I went through, and in this case he DID guide and clear things out in that session towards the end. so I didn’t have remaining ‘anything’ as far as entity or demonic residue….

I will say that afterwards I was unable to do anything for quite a while..could barely get out of bed the following day.

What I went through in large ways was powerful soul trauma and shock so it was taking me necessary ‘after-space’….she had a far less dramatic experience and didn’t yet get the medicine/experience she had came for so she was going to get another session with him that night (Halloween itself).

Fortunately; ahead of time with an assistant they brought a Willow’s forest community supply of palo santo and smoked up the entire place before starting her session and that really helped.

(like this x50)

I had my headphones and laptop to do some session space as well as a superficial ipod video game…stuff like that to keep me occupied with headphones one. I felt that was REALLY necessary. I still hadn’t had access to my own authority and powers to do my own field protection…I was still very vulnerable.

I had to ask a sorcerer friend of mine to call in protection for my field b/c she was having a follow-up ceremony on Halloween itself.

TBH there were ALL KINDS of shadow spirits around then throughout space (esp. on HALLOWEEN?! Hello..)…

There was no veil….so my strategy was to be as ‘normal’ as possible and independent while she had her experience upstairs.

Even still…this was the experience I was REALLY meant to have as illogical as it may seem…that I really came for and the 2nd night was more of hers.

The entire next day I was even more affected on Halloween and even though we kept the drapes closed, wow….I was in my bed yet didn’t catch a wink of sleep all night but things got more extreme….

I started having a different an unusual form of kundalini awakening that was slowly going through and ripple-awakening my DNA…

 

…the sense of a (non-demonic yet) green snake (of DIVINE INTELLIGENCE) working it’s way through my body activating and upgrading my DNA…re-coding and re-wiring my Light-body…

…(obviously gnostic, heretical and in a sense un-Christian like however) this was so obvious and prescient but also entirely new to me (even though I’ve had some previous kundalini awakening experiences before this point ; btw my FULL kundalini official awakening – which this helped set the stage for was in 2025 which I’ve blogged about).

It was this rippling, winding light fire taking it’s time moving through the energy body and organs. I knew it was a very powerful re-templating; however I remember honestly thinking and FEELING like I’d never EVER be able to sleep again…it would a strange kind of frozen panic and shock. B/c it was daylight I still tried to sleep but couldn’t at all.

I remember we went for a brunch the day after Halloween (while on the 31st she went out and she brought me some takeaway good food as I don’t think I left the entire condo then)…and even at the restaurant I was still ‘shaken’ and taking a long time to order something on the menu.

Her 2nd experience seemed to have been what she was looking for but she was still a ‘bit’ more pulled together than I was…both of us deeply affected. Just two of us we had his full power and focus vs. it being spread out to a larger group (plus we were such spirit warriors in our own rights already anyway).

On Nov. 1st after brunch we had to split ways and check out.

Eventually she was leaving to the airport and I pulled myself together enough with my backpack to go the route which I was familiar enough now to catch a tuk-tuk to the water-port and catch the colectivo taxi motorboat up the river to where our camp was set up….

..(it helped I speak Spanish although not fluently)…although I was still re-settling back in and recovering.

It was a WELCOME RELIEF to be back in the peace of the jungle

…(well, with its organic noises like insects and frogs albeit)…also very cozy that I had my own spacious hut with mosquito nets and fan. I wanted SPACE ALONE as much as possible (esp. being a 5/1 projector). It was JUST the thing though (plus it kinda felt good just being ‘solo’ again).

Being in the jungle helped to settle things back in more to my body and post-integrate…then I had some more of their food b/c I don’t eat fish (the only seafood I eat is oysters), I would request other food options from their chef and tbh it was all kinda gourmet at least for jungle dining.

I stayed on site for maybe 2 nights maximum and then decided to stay in Iquitos itself as I felt more (good) re-normalized. There was a previous plan to do magic mushrooms together but that never came to fruition. There was an endearing connection to that land for it was part of my story…no internet, no wi-fi…raw jungle with some decent setup for a natural retreat. I had chosen to sleep in the same hut in a different bed that had the mosquito net.

Our group had splintered so we were more on our own now…and me not having money I took another riverboat return for myself back into the city where I lived for around 2 weeks at a little motel room until I had enough money to get out there. There was some good food at a restaurant nearby where I would eat twice a day or so and caught a movie or 2 at the cinema. I even saw Jungle Harry himself in town who invited me to go back on-site but I was more ready to get out there.

So….this was my own ‘official’ representative documentation of my ‘The Crucible’ and it’s something how I can still remember SO many of those details.

And really; that kundalini activation was a primordial like re-wiring that also entirely upgraded my nervous system and power and ability TO channel and move energies as a lightworker-sorcerer more powerfully for myself and clients (as an authentic Western master) AND that would later come to serve me down the line with my official kundalini awakening having such a powerful foundational ‘upgrade’ so to speak…it’s also a re-templating then that is still serving for my entire Avatar Star embodiment imago transfiguration itself b/c it’s about having the energy body that can HOLD and be stable with immense flow of chi or spirit-essence plasmic current within oneself.

Going through what I did was its own hero’s journey…and I guess after more people realize and b/c aware of me (and a destiny that I am to be the Lightworker to the Stars!) they’ll be more keen to read something as intense as this…yet this has been an integral part of my overall Odyssey itself…my journey in becoming who I really am as The Muse Magician and Beauty Sorcerer…(rich with Light and pure Dark codes-blend…Dark not to be conflated with Shadow in daily embodiment…I’m very clear about this – and chk out the next blog post btw on Dark resources)…it was this experience of Shadow & Dark & Light spectra that further forges all of it…the Dark I value…divine Dark is pure – free of demonic infiltration (which is different than ‘passing through’ to KNOW what that hell is)…it’s the purified Dark that gives us more power OVER and with the Shadow from owning us/me…esp. important as Lightworkers to cultivate and have Dark as a buffer to shadow b/c more Light casts greater shadow).

Also…experientially, empirically as far as choosing me as a guide or activator for you…

Since I’ve ‘been there’ (and yeah though I walked through the valleys)…so immersively in the past tribulations…in so many ways as a healer’s healer and Light-working Sorcerer, this experience further gives me such richness to draw upon in helping others transform…after all this is a path of (divine) Power and Beauty.

…it required such deep and true tribulation throughout for many years as part of my ‘price to pay’.

SEVEN years since then (although I’ve done 5 MeO-DMT and Bufo which you can read about also on the blog here – opens in new window)

My 5-MeO-DMT God Molecule Crucible

:::

My first bufo 5 MeO-DMT experience/s

(not my book but good visual)

So…I’m looking forward to my next ayahuasca reconnect hopefully in 2027 and I might be taking a few close clients or friends along!

In total I’ve had around 9 ceremonies with 4 different shamans so far. The medicine has been calling for years and now I’m more than ready for a new reconnect.

There’s nothing like it…that GOD with NATURE could embed such MEDICINE within nature itself – literally…and that DMT is in our own system.

Ayahuasca is SO profoundly mystical and MAGICAL (and it’s not always HELL-ish) – I really miss it now (argh!)

I do recommend going to the source itself if at all possible, doing research and trusting reviews as well as intuition (Shipibo and a few other lineage/lines and on a separate note Hamilton Souther is a rare Western who has become a master and was apprentice to a true maestro and I respect that as well).

–Rion Kati

Written on October 30 & 31st, 2026

p.s. I should’ve brought back more Timolina somehow b/c that was a thing 2 years earlier…but I was carry-on (so the sizing issue)…this is what the original shaman was using as a magical potion in ways and its smell was entirely imprinted in my experience.

I even knew the exact color it was (painting the pana-scape of my experience) when he was using it in ceremony when he was right in front of me. But the entire FIRST experience? Hmm…maybe I’ll do that on the 8th anniversary; an official representation of it and something that will also probably make my unabridged biography b/c in that one I literally had the BEST NIGHT of my life (in this lifetime) STILL and to date.

p.p.s. Yes; I had the gift and siddhic DNA activations breakthrough and started offering those services when still (stuck) in town there and then afterwards; integrating them into the lightworking workflow I have. I started cataloguing siddhic essences for their qualities and so forth.

The past 7 years I’ve been offering gift and siddhic related activations throughout 100s of paid sessions (archetypes, energy healing, etc.) and I’m the first one I still know of to work with Gene Keys in the lesser known form of ‘invocation’. Gift and SIDDHIC activations are available on-site and throughout different packages I offer.

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My 2nd Time W/Bufo: 5MeO-DMT

Beauty Essence Blog Meditation Rion Kati

Ahh….bufo! (Like “Ahh, Venice…”).

 

 

Ahh….bufo! (Like “Ahh, Venice…”).

 

 

 

 


But that’s not how I always felt about it.

 


Yes, within the last week I had returned for a second ceremony of bufo @ Maya Tulum with my referral (through a client of mine). It was clear I was called to it and it was an obvious ‘next step’.

 


((BTW; I wrote about my first ever, recent bufo experience here on the blog ))

 

 

 

After doing ‘The Crucible’ with a most powerful shaman in the Amazon basin in a private ceremony in a loft in downtown Iquitos after being an underwhelming ayahuasca experience on the Amazon (I felt more for beginners), it had been about 6 months after and I was called to do bufo.

 


This was in spring 2020 and I was going to come down from Playa del Carmen to the Bufo Alvarius Sanctuary in Tulum…I started doing some research but then my vestibular issue (which I called ascension vertigo then) flared up and it created all kinds of additional anxiety around ‘doing bufo’.

 


Bufo of course being the 5 MeO-DMT experience with the Sonoran desert toad which carries this God molecule in its bufo-toxins (do these toads ever lick each other out there?)

 


So what happened is that I built up anxiety, trepidation and authentic forms of FEAR around it for 5.5 years before I went in during my God Molecule crucible which I wrote about on the blog here. We ended up doing straight 5MeO-DMT (which I didn’t really know about at all until I was talking with them) instead of bufo then while we were consulting around my vestibular issue which they said they hadn’t known anyone who had it who ever did this sacrament.

 


It was more accurate to get the dosage amount because bufo dosage was more variable (and unreliable), so I first had direct 5MeO-DMT ( a very strong 7 mg).

 


After that, I did get to finally doing bufo which I also wrote about on the blog but basically my 2nd experience here was what I thought my first experience would be like and my first 5MeO-DMT experience was what I thought the next (3rd) bufo experience would be like.

 


NOW? I don’t have anxiety around it…in fact, I LOOK FORWARD to continuing to work with it. Yes; we’re basically talking the ~most powerful psychotropic known to mankind.

 


Bufo has alkaloids that help rejuvenate cellular repair and growth neurologically and many other benefits in addition to being a host of The God Molecule itself.

 


“5-MeO-DMT, also known as 5-methoxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine, as well as O-methylbufotenin or mebufotenin, is an atypical psychedelic drug, entheogen, and alkaloid of the tryptamine and 5-methoxytryptamine families.[8][1][5][2] It is found naturally in a wide variety of plant species, and is also secreted by the glands of at least one toad species, the Colorado River toad (Incilius alvarius, formerly Bufo alvarius).[8] It may occur naturally in humans as well.” -Wikipedia

 


For years; I lived with this anxious trepidation around the idea of it…like a dragon that had to be slayed.

 


There was something VERY REAL (at least in my subjective experience or ‘false evidence appearing real’) about the ‘terror barrier’.

 


It was a large and vast ‘unknown’…even AFTER doing regular 5MeO-DMT b/c I still didn’t know what to anticipate (remember I thought it was going to be even more powerful at the same dosage; not that it isn’t powerful, but they’re each their own medicine with different ‘ranges’ so to speak).

 


Granted, I had a legitimate health concern that AMPLIFIED my concerns, but it was finally time to ‘face them’ as a Soul Warrior and I found my own way with these sessions to become initiated and dissolve any terror barriers.

 


I overcame most of that and officially with my first bufo session but there was still more to be initiated INTO to really have the more integrated and priceless levels of Warriorship that would be relevant to other areas of living powerfully in-self with.

 


I’ve mentioned before, not everyone is called to it, but there is something authentic to not overlook about where in your life you may be ‘hiding out’ from things with terror barriers that you KNOW you are supposed to break through with (for some it could be facing the Beauty or Power of their Beloved and the threat of their own unworthiness so they keep living in denial).

 


Like; I’m not called to ibogaine (iboga) yet or ever. That’s just not my battle but I’ve gone through the battles and tribulations (many) that I knew I was supposed to. So where might you be compromising on something you know that YOU should be doing?

 


So yeah; back to our storyline…and similar to my previous experience with bufo; again the math didn’t really add up. I’m getting a little ahead of myself so let me digress…

 


So yeah; it was another lovely beach weathery day as I biked down with less anxiety….as I arrived and took off my sandals with a little concern of the light dirtiness on my feet (I may have to foot mop the floor with some bounty towels later) she had the ceremonial space set up in the yoga shala in a different area facing more southerly.

 


Relevant accoutrement, incense and altar area.

 


I was more grounded and embodied and less anxious than before until we moved into ceremony prep…I felt some good, healthy normal anxiety knowing it was going to be an experience (and stronger than last time) yet with a bit more confidence about how my system (still healing in harvest) reacts to it.

 


Actually I wasn’t as light-headed this time going in (things were relatively ‘normalized’) so that helped also yet still; holding the o-pipe with the medicine to my heart I felt that mix of excited, activated-ness with maybe 18% anxiety but otherwise prepared.

 


It was still a risk because of my vestibular issue that others don’t have to worry about.

 


But again; I knew I was called to it (for and with Beloved) and before I left I had called upon my Hero and Warrior into embodiment and guides to be with me throughout…even if there was ‘some’ remaining form of anxiety like before going into battle in the prescient moments before partaking; it was to do the right thing anyways.

 


You’ve either done bufo or you haven’t.

 


B/c remember; there are people who will jump out of perfectly good airplanes (oh; hey I’ve done that too..ok just 1 airplane so far) who wouldn’t dare touch this medicine.

 


We had talked also for 1/2 hour before me booking this one on zoom audio. This time I had for sure wanted to go stronger.

 


She was planning for me to do the full ‘starter’ breakthrough dose of 70mg (at once instead of split)…and I was like let’s talk about that (that was too light for me)…

 


I was previously planning and actually already thinking 100mg just to ensure a stronger experience (or even more than that like 125mg) but she felt 100mg should be the maximum for now and prepared it. It felt good knowing that she didn’t want to go further so that is our topline for now and what’s meant to be.

 


So I had the entire rug and sarong spread-set to myself with 2 pillows that I tested ahead of time (this is important to me).

 


And then sitting up we had the 100mg dose prepared…I was getting more used to things by now so she lit it and I did my best to inhale as much as I could (telling her beforehand I can’t hold my breath as long as normal b/c it can threaten my vestibular condition and put me in a danger zone)…there was a little bit of confusion if I was doing it correctly but I inhaled and held as much as I can and she promised to start counting faster this time instead of the big delay.

 


I think I made it to around 5 before I had to exhale and then leaned back.

 


Similar to last time, it was a gentle but obvious gradient into ‘the zone’; this time more significant of course. The ego was less active and it was generally an egoless zone.

 


Going into it I already sensed that it still might not be as strong as the 5MeO-DMT but that it didn’t have to be; eventually I would get there with bufo…that’s what made me enjoy this more.

 


It’s an obvious but magical zone of Unity that I was getting more used to and enjoying…again; quite gentle and manageable…with the ego subdued it allows you to experience more directly as your soul so it’s very purifying including alchemically as it works though the system.

 


It’s not like I blasted out; I was still there; I guess ‘in body’ but it’s just a different experience more directly connected to the divine where higher frequencies are saturating your energy field.

 


I did some lightworking during it but there was no specific theme…I whispered key codes again like ‘Beloved’ (of course I said ‘all for thee my Love, together’ at the start).

 


I also said “I AM….multi-orgasmic, multi-millionaire”…it’s basically a siddhic experience directly.

 


The ego being present enough to guide with key codes…there wasn’t too much releasing this time but there was some that I helped to support…at one point I could feel the medicine landing more and affecting my cellular body in the legs, reviving them (this medicine healed a previous facilitator from some weird leg injury btw).

 


The whole experience lasted I dunno around 13 human minutes with an obvious but manageable ‘fade-in’ and then it stayed kinda strong in a very slow gradient ‘fade-out’.

 


(I don’t know why more people don’t do this more often!). So it was very beautiful and I just accepted that it didn’t have to be my strongest experience with it (those are indeed yet to come) but that everything was working out perfectly with my intention of this being a 2nd initiation and bridge transition into long-term with the medicine.

 


It’s so beautiful and I guess it’s not normal for people to work with it as often as I’m going to but I just have a hardcore darshana and dharma.

 


I’m still going to see what it’s like with stronger future dosages to compare to a parallel with 5MeO-DMT while also fully respecting this medicine and my growing legacy with it.

 


After what seemed like the end of the experience-ceremony, it was a little bit jarring how vibrationally from where I was ; but she offered me another dose to go deeper. I had zero resistance to this and felt it was a really good idea if she’s offering. (She was concerned I didn’t fully properly inhale).

 


The number 60mg came to mind for a follow-up dose so she prepared that and then gave me re-calibration on how BEST to partake with some extra coaching.

 


See; the sanctuary facilitator lady ~3 months ago gave me perfect instructions thoroughly before and this medicine woman, she had instructed me and figured I was a little more experienced than I was but I’m still getting used to it…

 


I do remember last time she calibrated me between doses to do the faster inhale but with all that was going on this time I just didn’t remember.

 


I didn’t feel any shame or guilt towards myself (we still ended up with the original 70mg worth SHE intended at least!); I was breathing it in too slow but unknowingly.

 


She ‘could have’ reminded me pro-actively before to do the faster quicker inhale or it collects up before this first dose; BUT it was a micro-learning lesson for both of us.

 


I think it was really meant to be because even she said something to the likes of ‘whatever is meant to be is meant to be’ AND I was fully trusting my guides and her.

 


So then I followed her more precise instructions and calibration and actually was able to hold my breath the proper amount WITH the faster inhale to straw-suck it all in and then cover my mouth and she said ‘perfect’. (NOW, I REALLY have it down and won’t have to be reminded again).

 


Her concern was that I hadn’t taken the full 100mg initially, which is why she offered it in good hopes of wanting me to have a fuller experience (and value even though I was ok with things). So yes; I felt great about a 2nd dose.

 


And afterwards, because I did the 2nd dose of 60mg perfectly; I was able to gauge that the first dose was still a bit stronger so even though it was 100mg I at least took in 70mg worth+60mg. So technically, I’ve taken bufo 4 times!

 


In both these 2 doses, I reached a point of egolessness with only occasional hints of egoic thought which reminded me to ‘let go’ and ‘trust the fullness’ of whatever this is meant to be without expectation (and KNOWING that it still wasn’t as strong as the smaller 7mg direct or of future doses I’ll partake with bufo AND in knowing it still has that kind of power; we just have to calibrate the dosages to me)

 


In the experience, she had supportive music was playing (it wasn’t Saturday Night Fever’) but it’s like it fades away and in this format at least I’m hardly aware of it…It’s just this gorgeous pure state of egolessness.

 


Bufo ironically is and has been VERY GENTLE with me (so far at least); which is ironic in part because my experience with 5MeO-DMT synthetic (bio-identical) was the experience other people (like Mike Tyson) were saying they had with bufo.

 


I guess with more experience (and some different sources) and I will figure out more into why.

 


I know that I’m a powerful soul (and now with Son of God reclaimed); but even I had to kinda ‘ease’ into bufo to play it relatively safer with my still healing vestibular dynamic (so I’m glad the 5MeO-DMT was what it was)….again the math doesn’t add up but I’m ok with that. I had 3x the equivalent DMT this time vs. the first with DMT and that was *still* 3x stronger.

 


Go figure. But I respect each as their OWN unique medicine…they don’t have to directly compare whatsoever.

 


Also; one guy said he had done 5MeO-DMT and bufo at the Alvarius Sanctuary within 2 weeks and he said they were basically the same. Hmm…I didn’t partake both there but my experience is that there are similarities but they aren’t the same. When I do reach similar breakthrough dosage with bufo, then I’ll know more.

 


All of this can help YOU discern if and when you may be called to bufo – at least its on your radar now. She was saying there’s only been about 1 million doses total ever done like this. There’s actually no indigenous tradition of people doing it either; it came about within mere decades of discovery and usage.

 


So…I wasn’t only thinking about the numbers then; I was trusting the experience and am more active with it now in retrospect but again;

 


How I could have partook with only 7mg of bio-identical 5MeO-DMT (light to regular dose range) and how that blew me to outer space and my corner of the cosmos and how on the 2nd experience of bufo here (technically 160mg and equivalent of 2.4x the DMT would still be gentler than the 7mg?

 


I dunno….we both talked and figured it had to do with my tolerance b/c when I took 5MeO I hadn’t had DMT since ayahuasca 6 years earlier. SO BE AWARE that YOUR experience may not be anything like what mine is. Even the sourcing of the toad can be different…hers may not be the 15% DMT ratio…it might actually be 6%, we don’t know (but it’s amaZing natural medicine!).

 


That’s also why I’m going over the numbers so much because others DON’T and this helps my SUPPORTIVE ego tune in along with my intuition and guides to help me make the right shot calls AS moving into things with faith.

 


Ironically I shared some of this information and a client of mine decided it WASN’T his timing for DMT even with the advice that he could request a lower dose to start and have them prepare a follow-on dose (taking that advice could help you shave YEARS off of your potential initiation with DMT btw).

 


Anyways; I can refer her to you if you’re serious about things in Tulum.

 


Her source is very pure, attuned and hand-selected on the property she has or has access to (for the milking). Somehow I’m thinking that other sources of bufo may be more potent or something but I don’t mind at all; I just have to take a larger amount to reach breakthrough range dose (remember I’m kinda large too around 100 kg + with an enormous temple body space).

 


I think what’s understated still is how much I LOVE the medicine and how much I’m meant to KEEP working with it semi=actively and long-term….to ME, ‘her’ medicine (sourced) is very GENTLE and pure.

 


This is a beautiful thing. It wasn’t like the freight train experience that I first had with 5MeO-DMT…this makes it very friendly to experiment around with higher doses (relatively) safely, etc. which I would work up to.

 


My valuation for this session was to be open to whatever healing but most importantly it was to build a BRIDGE as a 2nd initiation into working with bufo for the LONG-TERM. Again; DMT (a.k.a. ‘The God Molecule’ is VERY Muse line friendly).

 


My greatest takeaway from this one was really that this was like a FRIENDSHIP BRIDGE and transition into working with bufo/DMT far more often than 6 years apart.

 


And all of a sudden I’ve done bufo 4 times already with more experiences already planned and I’ve got a lot of work to do with both micro-dosing AND breakthrough doses.

 


Remember that 5MeO-DMT is more like the ‘oneness with Source’ experience and N,N DMT which is what is in ayahuasca (with MAO inhibitors so it lasts a lot longer); this brings more VISIONARY experiences (like I literally WAS the jaguar striding through the jungle palms within 3 minutes during the Crucible, I WAS the thunderbird soaring above mountains, being IN an astral swamp, etc.).

 


It seems 5MeO is far less likely to be open to astral interference and entities which can happen a lot with ayahuasca but that can be part of the experience and journey (people criticize it but you just really have to know how to CLEAN THINGS UP afterwards).

 


Critical to be aware of is NOT to partake bufo (which lasts around 23 minutes) in tandem with MAO inhibitors (like ayahuasca or changa). Bufo and direct 5MeO-DMT doesn’t have the MAOI effect on the neuro-transmitters so it lasts much faster…she said there’s only been like 3 documented deaths with bufo and 1 of those was when someone did ayahuasca followed-up by bufo b/c the MAOI’s were still in their system. That is DANGEROUS and could be lethal.

 


This is all UNOFFICIAL, off the record advice (along with my experience) and you are responsible for your own research, decisions and consequences; I (and my source) are fully held harmless from any claims; but she also said that smoking changa for example (which is becoming more popular as a form of smokable DMT); you wouldn’t have to wait as long as two weeks b/c that MAOI doesn’t stay in the system nearly as long as when ingested with ayahuasca.

 


I think it’s very important to have experienced facilitators with the medicine and temple space to guide YOU and initiate you like I’ve done, even if you have a lot of spiritual experience like I do.

 


Ok….most importantly from here, I look forward to more extensive use with THE GOD MOLECULE itself. It allows me to be more in my true self, power and purity to get a lot of progressive heart, soul and consciousness work done while also receiving experience, blessings, saturation and codes.

 


I know it’s a key to my greater Heart Awakening as well as clearing up my ‘window to the soul’ and love channel circulation.

 

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